October - Stress and the CRC

 I was never good at the whole “school” thing. It’s taken me 7 years, 4 colleges, and 3 different majors to finally end up at KSU (where I will blessedly be graduating from next year #finally).  It’s taken so long because well… college has always been sort of scary for me. I have a history of getting overwhelmed- by the curriculum, the masses of young students, the expectation that a degree will lead to something fabulous once I get into the “real world.” I can easily send myself into an existential crisis just standing in The Commons looking around at everyone.  All these people, the potential, and jittery need to excel sort of smothers me. It’s one of the reasons I started abusing drugs and alcohol in my early twenties. And ironically, the addiction that I used to alleviate anxiety from school ended up keeping me from graduating on time.

            In order to successfully complete school sober, I needed support. Becoming a member of the CRC has helped immensely in managing academic stress. In the vast expanse of the student body, there is a community of people who are trying to get through their education not just sober, but happy. I am the kind of person that puts headphones on the moment I step onto campus and can have them in the entire day except during class (admittedly, sometimes in class too). I go an entire school day sometimes without any human interaction.  Which is fine on the good days, but when I’m losing my s**t over an exam or just need a hug and a good meeting I know I have a place to go. Between classes I can duck in for a quick (much needed) cup of coffee, access the free printing (which is better than someone giving you free kittens or a Unicorn), or just lie on some beanbags and organize my thoughts.

            The best part is that I now have access to a group of people that know exactly what I’m going through and can offer a little caffeinated comfort when I really need it. There are advisors and counselors with open doors. There are meetings almost every day and seminars in between. And did I mention free printing? I wish I had a CRC my first year of college, way back before my addiction took control of my life. But for now, I am grateful for the community I am apart of.  The sense of camaraderie between us, with all of our different stories and personalities is really nice to have. Somehow college this time around seems a little less terrifying.  

Contributed by K.M.

October - Stress and the CRC

I’ve been in the CRC for about four semesters. I’ve had every experience in school that you could think of: expulsion, failing, passing and succeeding. I’m 25 years old and have been trying school since I got out of high school in 2008. I’ve been sober now for a little over three years, and this is my experience on doing school, mainly during exam time.

            When I got sober, I really had no plans on going back to school. I had been out of school for about a year and a half before I got sober and had really given up hope and just told myself school wasn’t for me. When I got about a year, I figured I would give it one more shot. In the past, I had been to two different schools and had been expelled from both of them multiple times. I had a terrible GPA and was really scared if I could even get in school. I had two friends that were trying to get back in to school and really helped me to believe that it was possible. I started by going to a smaller school first for one semester just to get my feet wet so to speak. The next step for me was to get to a bigger school so I could continue my education. It just so happened that my two roommates where at KSU and helped me once again in believing I could get in and that It would all be fine. I was really worried because of my past that I would be rejected. I went to the CRC and talked to Pat. Once again, I didn’t think this would help or that I could get into the CRC. If you haven’t noticed, there is a pattern, and I had a very hard time in early sobriety believing in myself. Once again, God and all the people around me believed in me and helped me get where I needed to be. This is one thing the CRC has help me with a ton is believing that I can succeed and I can better my education and my life through school and a spiritual contact through sobriety.

While at Kennesaw, I have been through the ups and downs of exams many times.  It is my experience that it really has helped me to study a little every day for a long time and also the week of exams make a very big effort to make more meetings than I would on a normal week. I’ve spend a lot of time doing the exact opposite, and the places that my head can take me such are just complete fear of failure and unworthiness. During exam time, the rooms at the CRC are very important to me because everyone in there is dealing with the same thing, and just like sobriety, everyone can relate and help each other get through it. A couple of semesters ago I was really not in a good place academically, and I made some bad choices. I did not end up doing very well, and I was very ashamed at how I lied to all of my friends and told them I was doing fine. This is an example of just not taking advantage of my resources because when I came clean about what I had done, everyone around me just wanted to help; no one was mad or disappointed because they could relate to how I made it hard on myself. The moral of the story is always to take advantage of things like peers in and out of the CRC and to use the resources they give us that no other students get to use. 

Contributed by H.G.