I’ve gone to college a few times, and each experience has been markedly different. The first time I drank and used the entire time, and the story isn’t particularly interesting. I lasted a year and a half before ending up in a rehab facility. After finishing rehab and being sober for a little while, I decided to go back to college. Like many others in recovery, I assumed that I would be successful because I was sober; I was very wrong.
At the time I didn’t really understand how to apply twelve-step recovery to my life. I went to a lot of meetings, worked some steps, and got honest on occasion with a sponsor. I didn’t know it, but I was receiving the message of sobriety without giving anything back to the program that was saving my life. So, as a result, school didn’t go well for me. I didn’t always show up. And when I did show up, I arrived late and left early. While I was slowly growing in other aspects of my life, I was just as bad of a student as I had been in active alcoholism and addiction. Eventually, I broke down with a counselor and my sponsor. I just wasn’t ready for the responsibility of being a student, so I dropped all three of my classes.
A year or so later I went back to school, this time at Kennesaw State. I had an application to the CRC and met with Liz, but I decided that filling out the application was too much to ask. So, once again, I went back to school alone. The results were a little bit better, mainly because my program had improved. But school was still a struggle. My roommate was a member of the CRC at this point, and I saw what he was getting out of his experience; it was an experience that I wanted. That next semester I finally filled out the application and joined.
The CRC terrified me. I felt judged and alone, but I kept coming back. I showed up for my seminar. I showed up for Celebrate Recovery. I went to on campus meetings. I hung out in the meeting room in between classes. Somewhere along the way, I started to feel like a part of the group. I began to build relationships with people, particularly in seminar. Not only was I making connections and friends, but I also learned how to be a sober student through other people’s experiences. I knew that my seminar was a safe place and that I could share anything without it ever being repeated. I learned this because other guys were willing to share intimate experiences in their own lives. It took some time, but the CRC eventually became my home on campus. Because of guys I met in my seminar, I was eventually led to a new home group and a new sponsor that I desperately needed. These guys were sharing the twelve-step message with me and showing me how to apply principles within the community. The CRC isn’t a replacement for the twelve steps; it’s a way to enhance recovery, and those guys made that very clear.
If there is anything that I’ve learned from those guys, it’s that I’m responsible for carrying the message. I’m not new anymore, but I remember what it’s like to be new. I know what it’s like to be uncomfortable in a new environment. This means that I can’t skip seminar, or Celebrate Recovery, or my on campus meeting. I have to share my experience so that I can be helpful and still need others to do the same for me. I owe so much to the CRC, and I hope that everyone takes advantage of the opportunity to experience everything that it has to offer. But if I want the CRC to keep going, I have to set an example so that the new members can set an example in the future. We’re all dependent on each other.
So as we all start the new school year, let’s make a commitment to each other. Let’s participate and be of service. Let’s welcome newcomers. Let’s be there when we’re needed. Let’s make sure that we keep this thing going.
Contributed by W.P.
